D3 body, D1 cock
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
