What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
