he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
