i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
