He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
