What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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