I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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