Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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