We got so high we made milksteak
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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