God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
