i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
