sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize