and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
