you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
