i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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