Screwed.edu
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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