You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
