he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
