he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
