that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
