She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
