you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
