I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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