We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
