I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
