brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
