hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize