Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
