My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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