he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
