Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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