the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
