Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
