Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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