I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
