dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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