I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
