i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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