how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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