I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
