Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
True strength comes from lack of pants
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
