Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
