Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
