Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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