giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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