I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
