Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
When did angry sex become our thing?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
