i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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