Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
