so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
