She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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