North Korea, Best Korea!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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