Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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