I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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