I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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