I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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