i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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