i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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