oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
