I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
