I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
