it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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